What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job
by pixiebol
Summary: This fan fiction takes place on season 03 episode 04 -dethmas- Murderface wants to demonstrate everyone that he is not a failure and can have a job well done. He would do anything to make sure that everything goes smoothly. English is not my first language so if you think that I should change the grammar somewhere please let me know. I am not good at writing murderface's accent


There is a word known worldwide, crossing frontiers of gender, nationality and language.

It is: ''Dethklok'' economic power and death metal band known across the globe. The social impact caused by this band was enormous, making companies beg for the opportunity to make endorsement deals with a member or the band as a whole. So it was of great surprise when bass player, William Murderface was told ''Do what I say or no dice'' of getting funding for his ''Christmas special'' –at least it was a surprise for Murderface.

He was offended, offended by the fact that he was not allowed to give his ideas anymore –which didn't mean he wouldn't do it anyways- offended for the ''practically in Dethklok'' and list of failures that came out of his friend and producer Dick Knubbler. For some strange reason that he could not understand, he was not only offended by this, but hurt.

Following these events Murderface simply did what he usually did when he felt bad. He went to his room to play with knives; it might be a better game if he wasn't playing with his thighs as well.

Next day he awoke to pour some alcohol over his game from last night.

Nobody thought he would do this, but he decided to show them their mistake. He would make sure they apologized from the depths of their soul. He felt happy to see Knubbler but this was not the same kind of ''happiness'' he would get from seeing his other friends, maybe because ''they are like brothers'' he thought and he was happy to see his friend.

They have grown into a strange relationship; Knubbler was the only person who could tell Murderface what to do -without this affecting his ego, Murderface didn't feel threatened by Dick. He was a 'friend', Knubbler would not treat him different just because he is Dethklok's bass player or worst because he is Dethklok's BASS player. ''Shake it off, shake it off'' were the words that took him out of his mind.

He was so concentrated on his thoughts that he didn't realize he had gotten into a small argument with Knubbler, when he would concentrate on his emotions his mean or 'dick' side would come out.

''Nazis? What was that Murderface?'' What is he talking about? . . . Oh! I suggested something about Nazis for the Christmas special . . . damn, time to stand by my ideas, which I forgot I had.

And like this they encounter another little argument while going back to Mordhaus. There was something especial about these arguments; there was something different between them. Both knew this, but they had no idea what it is.

There was another meeting scheduled for two days later, but this was disrupted by grandma Murderface's visit.

Like many imagine, she didn't allow Willian to go to his meeting, and if that was not enough she hit Knubbler. Murderface freak out yelling ''No, No'' he didn't know why, usually he just tells her in a very ungracious ways not to hit people. Oh well short-temper seemed to be in the family.

After expending tedious and annoying hours around his grandma he felt extremely relieved to know that he had found founding for his special. Dick told him that they would meet once he gets home so they can 'study' their target.

The room was big and full of antiques, Dick knew Murderface liked war but he never thought of him as a collector, the smile on his face showed how happy he was of learning new things about his comrade.

That night they googled everything they could about this reverend just to find out the horrible critics against dethklok and William murderface.

''Willy, this is disgusting, we should just tell that guy to fuck off!'' Dick's eyes were glowing red.

''But itsch funding, we need it! I'm gonna' schow everybody in the whole fucking world that I am not a complete failure!'' Murderface was stabbing the table with his favourite knife.

''Come on Willy, you shouldn't take anything from anybody for something like that.'' said Dick trying to convince Murderface that this was not a good idea.

'I am usched to it. Even you do it.'' He replied, taking his knife back to his hands

They continued searching for another fifteen minutes in complete silence until Knubbler said he was tired. Murderface seem to be his normal self and just went to shower. Knubbler was expecting something different. He wanted to know why he wasn't angrier about the things that stupid church had said about him, why was he acting so, normal? Then it hit him.

Murderface was acting normal because that was normal to him. Suddenly his stomach just seemed to flip while he remembered all those times the band had 'joked' with him. He felt bad for showing his failures and telling him that he wasn't a real 'star'. It was not fair. Nobody should be made to feel that bad his whole life. Before going to sleep he swore to protect his friend, that's what friends do right?

Like that the next day came.

''You won't ruin thisch for me Dick.''

''Willy…'' It was the last thing he said before they entered the church.

''Now boys, I'm pleased as pie that we are doing this together.'' Were the only words the reverend got to say before Dick exploded, only thinking of what that asshole had said about his William.

''Oh fuckin' man,'' Murderface stopped him right there. He couldn't keep in so he just went on swearing until murderface said ''You're supposched to be doing thisch for me.'' He gave his puppy eyes which rarely anybody else got to see. That was enough to send Dick back to his chair; he promised to himself that he would try to be on Willy's side more often.

Murderface seemed to be in control of the situation, he even said that he is always been attracted to religion, which one way or another could be true, since Willy has been the only member of Dethklok that showed strong interest on finding a religion to end up as a nihilist again.

Everything went smoothly except for the stupid reverend's thread about go crushing them. He really wanted to punch that idiot and get out of there, but let it be for Willy. . . .

The reverend asked if Dethklok could get involve in the project but Murderface was against it.

''Why not Willy? It might be your last chance!''

''Don't tell me what to do!''

The reverend hit the table just to say ''We have financing but you won't be able to go live if you don't learn to love each other, just like the Lord told us to.'' and like that the meeting was dismissed. William didn't think much about that, he got financing! So it was time to brag and show off to the rest of Dethklok.

The whole thing was coming out perfect, maybe, not really. It was a disaster. Dethklok's mothers were all around trying to get settings ready for rehearsal, but Murderface's and Knubbler's interaction and acting was not showing good results.

Frustration was getting worse, it led them to have stupid arguments; like Knubbler insisting to get his name on the Christmas special title, but murderface wanting all of the attention. Finally Murderface broke, he thought that maybe the reverend was right! There was going to be Christmas spirit if they didn't love each other, it wouldn't be that hard, they appreciate each other already.

''Maybe we should try to do what the reverend told usch to . . .'' Murderface said in a very quiet voice but loud enough for Dick to hear him. Dick wasn't in a good mood for stupid jokes

''William you are so gay! Stop fooling around and try to get into character'' That was all William could take. He wasn't in the mood to be belittled or criticized anymore.

He went to his room without saying a word to play the mutilation game again . . . he felt like he could play the whole night. He heard his name being called by someone.

''Willy?'' William was..

''Willy?'' William was astonished, he didn't want anybody to see him when he was at his worst, otherwise he wouldn't have come to his bedroom.

''What do you want? Thish ish my room and you can't be here!'' When Murderface slammed the door, Knubbler realized that he had hurt his dearest friend … again, he was going to make this right. He kept on knocking the door until William came out form his room with all his clothes on.

''I'm gonna shower, what do you want?''

''I was thinking that, er, you were right, and we should try to ''love'' each other more''

'' . . . '' William stared at him silently for a long time. ''My ideash are alwaysh great.'' He moved aside, letting Dick come into his room.

''Scho… how are we supposche to do thisch? Love soundsch gay.''

''Let's try checking love online.'' Everything that came up were kisses and couples hugging each other. There were even gay couples, not that they were paying attention or anything. Murderface closed the tab and sat back

''Love isch not metal, maybe we can try another way of creating love witout schtupid presentsh or fancy datesch.'' How could he 'love' somebody when he was not able to love himself, it was confusing to him and knubbler wasn't the brightest either.

''I can't think of anything really, what do people do when they love each other?'' Dick asked.

''They have schex.'' It came out as a natural response from William but when he realised what he had said he escaped to the toilet out of shame or … embarrassment? When coming out, Knubbler was staring at him in indifference to what just happened.

''He'sch gonna think I'm gay.'' He said in a low voice. He sat next to knubbler. ''What?'' He finally snapped at the silence.

''I was thinking, maybe you're right. The only metal way of showing it is sex . . . so . . . do you wanna try?'' Murderface turned completely red, ''Unless you think it's too gay and that we're just using this as an excuse to be fags.''

''Of coursche we're not! We're doing thisch becaushe we are professhionals.'' They were sitting on the side of the bed awkwardly, just staring at the floor.

''Well, the sooner we get started, the sooner we'll be done.'' Knubbler was right, but William couldn't bring himself to take the first step, he was just too shy and 'brutal' to admit it.


End file.
